My All or Nothing Mentality in Life (for better or worse)

I have tried many times to have balance in life.  From work life balance, to working out balance, to leisurely and family time balance, and it has never worked for me.  My mind only works when I hyper fixate on a specific task and try my best to be the very best at that task.  However, there are moments and stretches when I can balance multiple things when I hyper fixate on this one thing:  Trying to have it all.  What does trying to have it all mean exactly?  It means that I hyper fixate on the act of having it all rather than on the individual acts of what it would mean to have it all.  For example, let's examine my current lifestyle and try to explain that way.

Work / Career:  I am currently a Twitch Live Streamer

Health / Fitness:  I am currently 6 foot 3, 350 pounds

Mental Health:  I have quit taking ADHD meds, depression meds, and quit drinking coffee 6 times per day (currently quitting soda and energy drinks)

Leisure Time:  I enjoy reading and writing and playing basketball

Family Time:  I have only 1 immediate family member left, my brother.

These categories in life are ultimately my areas of focus, but when I try to think about them all individually, it ends up becoming overwhelming to make progress in any of the categories above.  When I hyper fixate on trying to be a great twitch streamer, I end up focusing on that and ignore the 4 other categories of my life that need focus and attention.  This also happens across the board with the other categories.  When I focus too hard on any particular one, the other ones suffer.  However, what if I said I want to have it all in each category and focused on all of them?  Meaning, I am not thinking about any one category at a given time, I am just forming the habits needed to have it all in each category simultaneously.

This is the mindset shift of all or nothing.  If I can't have it all in the categories I care about, then I should have nothing.  It is a very high risk, high reward mentality, but when it works, the results speak for themselves.  It is a commitment to operate at the very highest peak of human performance without being willing to even compromise one day by making excuses or taking a break.  It is what will propel me to a place that I believe I am worthy of, a place of elite performance, love, and joy in my life.  Given that we all know we will be dead eventually because of the ticking time bomb known as life on earth, there is no excuse to not try to get as far as possible in all the categories one cares about in an all or nothing mentality.

To this end, I am seeking to surround myself with the tools, people, and events to make my journey a success.  I am looking for all or nothing people who are operating at the highest levels and who don't make excuses, but rather, deliver results.  Whatever and whenever the call is made, I am committing myself to operate at this level of human existence.  Will it be easy?  Fuck no.  Will it be worth it?  Fuck yes.  There are no more excuses for me.  This life is ticking by, and I have had 10 years of rest operating at suboptimal levels to continue the same old song and dance that I have been which has led me to this moment.  I may be 42 but I have a fuck ton of life left in me and I'd rather die than see myself waste away like this for another 10 years.

This blog has helped me gain clarity and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read it.  I know myself at this point.  All or nothing is the only way forward.  I have tried to have balance, but balance only leads me to disappointment and a lack of discipline.  Discipline is something that is required at all times to be successful, especially when you are an all or nothing individual, and it has shown me that I can do it when I focus on the act of having it all instead of focusing on the individual pieces that encompass having it all.  Time to shift my lifestyle and get to work.

Until next time,

Blackboa