I Relapsed Back to Gaming

After nearly two weeks of not playing any games, I relapsed back to gaming a couple of nights ago.  I was trying really hard to quit, but without anything to take up that time at the end of the night, the boredom got to me and I couldn't resist.  I am disappointed in myself, but at the end of the day, gaming is still something that I love even in the current state of gaming.  What I hope though is that it doesn't consume me like it once did, and I can continue to do the habits I formed during the two weeks break that I found to be more empowering.

The good news is, that I can start streaming again at least to make it seem more productive.  I also took a two-week break from streaming thinking that I would want to stream my writing sessions for my book, which now I admit I have stopped writing since starting up the gaming again.  At the end of the day, after reading a bunch of books I feel as though my writing skills for book writing is not sufficient to actually create anything worth reading.  This is a negative attitude, and I am aware of this, but at the end of the day perhaps now is not the right time for thinking that I could actually write something of merit.

Last night I also had ice cream for the first time in about a month, and that also kind of put me in a bad mood.  It seems that since starting to game, I am relaxing everything else that I have been so good about over the last few weeks and months.  I don't like this, but again, it doesn't have to mean I can just let go of myself again like I use to.  I just need to understand that I can still be productive while I game.  I don't know though, I just sometimes wish I didn't put so much pressure on myself for making small mistakes.

Sorry for the short post today, I just really don't have much else to say on this topic.  It's not something I am proud of, but ultimately, I remain a slave to gaming and that is the end of it, I guess.

Until next time,

Blackboa