Addiction Withdrawals from not Gaming
Gaming addiction is real, and over the last few days I have been experiencing withdrawals from intentionally not gaming. As I transition from being a streamer who games to being a streamer who streams the creative process of writing, I am finding it very hard to get over my gaming addiction. Over the course of the last couple of days, I have felt the urge to download so many games, especially at night when I have nothing else to do, and it has been really hard. I find myself feeling anxious and aggravated, and worst of all, bored. Even though I have held strong, it still pains me to not play games as my way to escape reality, but I am committed to continuing to stay the course, because my desire to become a writer is stronger than my commitment to remain a gamer.
The good news about giving up gaming is that I have a track record of giving things up that are highly addictive. In the last few months, I have given up my ADHD meds, my depression meds, drinking coffee (which had the worst withdrawals of all), and drinking energy drinks and soda. All of these things were highly addictive, and I felt that I could not live without, and most of the withdrawals from these things stopped after a week of not using them. I assume that a similar thing will happen once I stop gaming for at least a week, that the pull to gaming will subside and I will ultimately find something else more suitable as a replacement.
Right now, the leading replacements for my gaming addiction are reading and writing. I already am walking daily, going to the gym, and reading and writing about spiritual topics during my morning routine. This usually keeps me busy from the time I wake up until the time I eat lunch (around 12 noon EST). The dark times of feeling my gaming addiction comes during the afternoon and evening after I have taken my nap. Yesterday was the worst of the feelings of withdrawal and I managed to keep my addiction and urges to game at bay by reading a significant amount of literature. I finished my long-standing book that I was reading (The Hobbit) and I started a new book that I ended up reading about 50 pages of (Redwall book 1). I had the wherewithal during my daily routine to stop at Barnes and Nobel and pick up more books knowing that I was going to start feeling a massive void to fill my gaming time with reading time.
The writing side of my equation did make some progress yesterday, although not as much as I would have liked. I started writing chapter one of my fable and it took an interesting turn. I ended up coming up with a title for it that I will not reveal just yet as it is a work in progress, but one that I found to be interesting after doing a little research around the topic of the book. As written in a previous post, I strive to write at least 2000 words a day excluding this blog post and I fell well short of that yesterday, but the plot of the book was put into shape which took a little extra brain power in thinking ahead to what the book may end up being about. I look forward to filling in the blanks in terms of the world building aspect of it during today's writing session.
Yesterday I started to tell myself that playing a game would be ok if it was directly related to research for the book I am writing, but that ultimately would end up being a cop out for just playing games again and could easily spiral me back to my gaming addiction. Again, the mind tries to play tricks on people to justify doing something that they know is not right for them. 10 years of gaming is a lifetime of playing, and to continue the spiral over and over again when I have not been enjoying gaming and feeling guilty about how much I play is not something I want to get into again. I have honestly never truly been rid of the guilt of gaming, even when times were good in my streaming career. It always felt like I was not living to my full potential, and in reality, I wasn't. I am here now though and aware of myself and I am striving to be the best version I can be so that I can bring something positive into this world that we live in.
With all that said, I must continue my quest towards working on my physical and mental wellness, and so it is time that I go on my daily routine once again. My routine includes walking at least 30 mins a day, working out at a gym at least 15 mins a day, and reading and writing at a coffee shop at least 1 hour per day. The remainder of my reading and writing for my book happens after 12 noon and usually after my afternoon nap and shower. I look forward to using my creative juices to make real progress in my fable that I am writing, and I look forward to reading more of the wonderful story of Redwall instead of succumbing to the urge to game. May you all have a great day and a wonderful weekend!
Kind Regards,
Blackboa