A GAMERS SEARCH FOR MEANING
Welcome to my blog. My name is Blackboa, a Twitch Partnered Live Streamer and avid gamer for the last 10 years. Gaming has filled a void in my life, but I am starting to notice that gaming alone is not enough anymore. The dopamine I use to get from gaming would carry me through the hard times of life, but lately it has been coming up short. This blog will document my personal journey towards finding a more meaningful purpose in life, with or without gaming.
My first steps towards a meaningful life
It is hard to find meaning in life when you are dealing with underlying struggles involving physical pain and mental health. In 2026, after suffering for many years with migraines and severe headaches, I took the first steps to go to a Neurologist who was able to prescribe me with much needed preventative medications that essentially have eliminated the 16 migraine or headache episodes per month I would have. This has had a drastic impact to my life and has allowed me to begin to pursue other activities that I simply was unable to prior. In addition to this, I have begun tending to other issues including my breathing issues (deviated septum) and my sleep issues (sleep testing for sleep apnea). Over the course of the next few months, I also plan on taking care of some skin and dental issues that I have been putting off for quite some time.
An unfiltered accounting of my successes and failures
As I go on this journey, I want to present to the reader an authentic representation of my journey. As a 42-year-old man who is obese and depressed, there will be struggles along the way that will not be easy to write about. It is these exact moments where I believe I should lean into my thoughts and put them to digital paper (this blog) so that the readers who have similar struggles may find comfort in knowing they are not alone. While failures may arise, there will also be many successes to discuss as well which I hope will inspire others to push through the temporary defeat(s) on the road to personal successes of their own. I appreciate you all for giving me a platform to speak on these topics, and I hope we can all enjoy and find meaning in the lives of each other.